The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

ALIEN 3000 (2004) ** ½

When some dumb teens mess with some “Conquistador’s Gold” in an abandoned cave, they unwittingly awaken an “invisible” monster.  Years later, the lone survivor leads some military assholes back into the cave to find the monster.  Some of the gore is impressive, as is the monster suit, but the CGI “invisible” effects are terrible.  (Think a badly Photoshopped Predator.)  Lorenzo (Renegade) Lamas and Priscilla (Mallrats) Barnes star.  (Which means they show up for just long enough to cash a paycheck.)  Megan Malloy is pretty good in the lead, but Phoebe (Goth) Dollar steals the movie as one of the bitchy mercs.  She gets all the best lines, some of which include, “I’ll be fucked if you ain’t the weirdest bitch I’ve ever met!” and “Shut your face you meddling bitch!” and “Want some cheese to go with that whine?”  It ain’t great, but it’s fun in a Sci-Fi Channel premiere way.  Besides, any movie that boasts about a “Special Appearance by Scott Schwartz” has to be worth a look.  

AKA:  Unseen Evil 2.

Tags: a, sci-fi

  • GHOST IN THE SHELL (2017) *** ½

    I’m not really an anime guy. I wouldn’t know a Ghost in the Shell from an Akira. All I know is that this movie, based on the beloved Japanese…


    Three stock brokers leave a late night Christmas office party and stop at an ATM. Brian Geraghty is the square, Josh Peck is the cut-up, and the…

  • THINGS TO COME (1936) ***

    In the futuristic year of 1940, another World War breaks out, causing devastation throughout the globe. In 1966, a deadly plague further culls the…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened