The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

SS DOOMTROOPER (2006) *

Corin Nemec rounds up a bunch of military prisoners for a top secret mission behind enemy lines.  If they can complete the mission, they’ll be given a full pardon.  Don’t worry, this isn’t a remake of The Dirty Dozen, it’s just a dumb as Hell SyFy Channel Original. 

 

The mission in question has Nemec and his men trying to blow up a Nazi fortress which contains a mad scientist lab where Ben Cross (of Chariots of Fire and Species 4 fame) has turned an Aryan recruit into a genetically enhanced super-soldier.  Nemec and company eventually teams up with the French Resistance (all of whom sport hilariously bad accents) to take down the Uber Soldier.

 

The effects in this movie are straight-up horrible.  Seriously, these are some of the worst I’ve ever seen on The SyFy Channel and that’s really saying something.  The Doomtrooper himself looks like an end level boss from Streets of Rage.  That’s right folks; while most SyFy Channel monsters look like they came out of a Sega Dreamcast game, this one looks like a refugee from a Genesis game.

 

The flick’s lame attempts at humor don’t even work.  Like when Corin Nemec lines up his men and has them say their name.  One dude steps up and says his name is “Parker Lewis” and Nemec gives the audience a little look.  I guess in a better movie, this little in-joke could’ve been funny but it sticks out like a sore thumb here.

 

16 Bit monsters and lame jokes aside, this movie is the pits.  How bad is it?  Well, it doesn’t even trust it’s audience enough to know what the word “regeneration” means.  After the Frenchie chick tells the American soldiers that the Doomtrooper has the power of the regeneration, she feels the need to add afterwards, “It can heal itself!”  In the spirit of that bit of crappy screenwriting, I’ll conclude this review by saying that SS Doomtrooper sucks.  It’s really bad.

 

AKA:  Cyborg Soldier.

Tags: horror, s
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