The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE FOREIGNER (2003) * ½

I saw Steven Seagal’s Foreigner movies out of order, but Black Dawn (AKA:  The Foreigner 2) was fairly decent so I decided to check this one out.  Big mistake.  This one sucks hardcore. 

 

I won’t even mention the plot.  It’s confusing as fuck.  Since Seagal plays a double agent working for some Eurotrash scumbag, there are lots of double-crosses and shit.  Alliances are switched on a whim.  Dudes you thought were Seagal’s buddy end up trying to kill him and guys who tried to kill him end up being his buddy.  None of it makes a lick of fucking sense, but the flick isn’t a total loss.

 

Even the most tepid of Steven Seagal Direct to DVD action flicks usually have at least one moment of extreme nuttiness.  The Foreigner is no different.  There is this one scene where Seagal has a fake “package” at a bus station locker.  This package is actually a bomb that he concocted as a decoy in case some jackass comes looking for it.  Predictably, somebody does.  When a punk wants the package, he holds Seagal at gunpoint and makes him get it out of the locker.  Afterwards, they adjourn to the bathroom so he can open it.  It’s here that Seagal excuses himself to go take a piss.  When the guy opens the package, Seagal jumps out the window seconds before the bus station blows up.  And let me be clear about this:  The bomb doesn’t just blow the dude up, but the WHOLE bus station as well.  Talk about collateral damage.  There’s no telling how many people were in there when that thing went off (bus drivers, ticket takers, passengers, etc.).  Seagal escapes unscathed though. 

 

You know, that scene where he callously kills a garbage man in Black Dawn doesn’t seem so bad now compared to this.

 

That nutty bit aside, the action sequences are brief and unspectacular.  There is one hilarious moment when Steve-O throws a C-4 laced CD into a dude’s abdomen and he blows up.  That shit was whack.  Other than that, The Foreigner is mostly bunk.  Skip it and check out Black Dawn instead.

Tags: action, f, kung fu, seagal
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