The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

HARD ROCK ZOMBIES (1985) * ½

A rock ‘n roll group go to a bizarre small town to play a concert.  Even though they are warned several times to leave, they still stick around.  They spend the night at a mansion where a hot chick, mutant midgets, and a werewolf grandma live.  I guess since all of these kinds of weirdoes usually appear in rock videos, the band thinks it’s okay to stay there.  Big mistake.  Before the night is over, the band winds up getting killed by their hosts.  At their funeral, one of their fans plays their newest song, which features a medieval incantation to raise the dead.  Naturally, the group comes back as zombies to get revenge.

 

Hard Rock Zombies is a blatantly stupid movie that is so cheesy that it’s hard to actually enjoy.  At least with Troma movies, there’s a tongue in cheek campiness that makes them fun, but here the jokes are so desperate that they make Troma seem dignified.  I mean you know you’re in trouble when the main villain is revealed to be Adolf Hitler.

 

Then there’s the fact that our “heroes” are the lamest excuse for a band in the history of music.  These guys are about as hard rock as Richard Marx.  They dress like roadies for Billy Ray Cyrus, run around in fast motion like The Monkees, and one guy even does a mime routine.  If that’s your idea of “hard rock” you better pray you don’t meet me in the mosh pit.

 

The gore is okay though.  There’s a weed whacker to the stomach, some gut ripping, severed hands, lots of decapitated heads, and a Psycho inspired shower scene.  And some hot blonde whips her tits out a few times, so it’s not a total loss or anything.

Tags: h, horror, werewolf, zombie
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 0 comments