The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum


I was never one of those Dungeons and Dragons nerds, but for whatever reason, I saw that one Dungeons and Dragons movie that everyone in the history of the universe hated INCLUDING the D & D nerds it was made squarely for.  (Hey nerds, I hated it too, so don’t feel bad.)  At least that flick had the benefit of a clearly embarrassed Jeremy Irons acting bat shit insane.  This sorry sequel has no such luxuries.


I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  “Mitch, if you hated the first movie, then why on God’s green earth did you watch this straight to SyFy Channel flick?”  Well, the reasons are numerous.  One, I had room on my DVR.  Two, well… I had no memory of actually putting it on the DVR, but I figured, what the Hell, I’ll watch it anyway.  Three, uh… there is no three.  Look, I said I had “numerous” reasons, and numerous means “more than one”, so two reasons qualifies as numerous.


Anyway, the plot of this one centers around this d… ah, fuck it.  It’s a bunch of fucking dudes fighting dragons and chicks casting spells; plain and simple.  Basically, it looks just like an average episode of Hercules.  Except not as good.  Heck, it’s not even up to snuff with D & D Parto Uno.  Maybe if Jeremy Irons was around to chew up some scenery and spit it out, it might’ve been a different story. 


On the plus side, there is a good scene where the bad guy “eats” by having an Orc stick a funnel into his spine and then it pours a mess of slop in there.  Then there’s a sorta inventive scene involving a frozen dragon that breathes ice instead of fire.  Other than that, you don’t need some twelve-sided dice to tell you this one’s gonna suck.


AKA:  Dungeons and Dragons 2:  The Elemental Might.

Tags: action, d, sequel
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