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TERROR ON THE BEACH (1973) *

Dennis Weaver takes his family camping on the beach and gets harassed by some hateful hippies.  They eat the family’s food, steal their clothes, overturn the camper, and generally ruin Weaver’s already crappy weekend.  It takes fucking forever, but eventually, Weaver finally nuts up and begins to fight back.

 

Terror on the Beach starts off like Hot Rods to Hell (except with dune buggies) and ends like The Hills Have Eyes (except it sucks).  Everything in between is boring as balls.  Then again, what do you expect from a cheap ass Made for TV movie from the 70’s?

 

I guess the filmmakers thought that hiring Dennis Weaver was a good idea since he played another menaced motorist in Duel.  Well, I thought Duel was vastly overrated, but it looks like fucking Jaws compared to this shit heap.  The main problem is that the villains just aren’t very scary and inspire more annoyance than “terror”.  Seriously, getting sand in your swimming trunks is a heck of a lot scarier than Terror on the Beach.

 

The best thing about the flick was seeing Susan Dey in a bikini.  Since it’s a Made for TV movie though, you know she ain’t gonna pop out her Partridges.  The weird thing is that in the credits they call her a “Special Guest Star”.  I didn’t know you could have a Special Guest Star in a movie unless it was a two part Love Boat episode or something.

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